someone on the feministing community posted this video, probably the most powerful spoken word i’ve ever had the privilege of seeing. it’s a campaign by artist desdamona.
“and if they tell you you’re too big for a woman, tell them you’re just too big for your skin. tell them a body just can’t hold all this beauty. tell them they only wish they had hills and valleys like the earth.”
“i’ve been slipping through the years, my old clothes don’t fit like they once did, so they hang like ghosts of the people that have been.”
i am horribly, painfully broke. how i maintain my curvy figure while eating only pb & j sandwiches and chicken noodle soup is beyond me. nevertheless, i’m always hard up for cash and i’m learning creative ways to earn money before i finally find a job (HELP ME). donating plasma? lucky me– i surpass their weight limit. you’ll soon find me in some plasma/blood bank, pockets full. blood donation is not foreign to me. then there’s something called “plato’s closet”– a sort of “gently-used” brand name thrift store. i brought a garbage bag full of sweaters, clothed i’d outgrown around 2 years ago. most were old navy and gap, as those are the only clothes that will fit me. they grabbed three sweaters and paid me $5.70. most of the clothes were “last season”, i suppose.
the idea of selling something at a “thrift store” kind of bothered me. i’ve always donated clothes to the salvation army and goodwill and have been doing a lot of shopping there recently. but i noticed one thing– there was not room in the store to walk around. they were at full capacity. ah, money and what we do for it. there were people walking around with laundry baskets filled with their old clothes, waiting to get paid.
while we’re on the subject of clothes and weight and self-esteem, there’s a picture you must see.
what about this looks anything remotely like a woman’s body?
i don’t want to get into the typical rant about models and women’s self-esteem. one main issue that hasn’t been addressed enough: the male reaction. the pictures are sexual in nature, of course– beautiful, tiny models. the expectations of many of the men i’ve met seem to suggest that this is what has become normal in america and abroad (this was found in japan). i’m not saying this is a “male issue”. of course, it’s a media issue. but i think it’s important to think about how advertising targets men and women. the collective unconscious has lost a realistic view of what bodies should look like.
now i must thrust buddhist logic into this conversation (i apologize if this dismays you). buddhism does not necessarily define or speak directly about “self esteem”. there is, however, mention of delusion. when it comes to the great weight debate, delusion plays a huge part. this brings us to the four noble truths: number two is the “orgin of suffering”. the feeling of suffering comes from something often talked about in buddhism and organized religion– craving and desire. the inability of many young women (and men) to accept themselves and things just as they are seems to be in direct correlation with craving. “if only” i could lose weight or change my crooked nose, “if only” i could get this person’s attention, “if only” i was older or younger. by doing this, we are using valuable time that could be either working to change something, or accepting things the way they are.
i have learned one thing when it comes to difficult situations: you have two choices. accept it, or change it if possible.
“with gentleness, overcome anger. with generosity, overcome meanness. with truth, overcome delusion.” -the dhammapada
